distracted

I want to study but somehow I just don't feel the stress which I need to motivate me to study.

Which is annoying me.

Arghhhhhh.

And my roommate isn't here to make me feel guilty that I'm not studying.

I think I shall just off my computer.

Mimi agrees with me too. Such a clever girl-rabbit she is. Must be the environment.

DIE YOU INSIGNIFICANT INSECT

I am so lucky.

Guess what.
I met the most obnoxious person in the world in the swimming pool that day.
And I don’t even know what he looks like.
Only that he’s buff as hell and has an annoying American accent.

As I was grinning in delight from my extremely pleasant experience with him, ruminating on what had taken place, I came to a conclusion.

From my thorough investigations and what I gleaned from my wonderful encounter with Mr Royal Pain in the Gluteus Maximus, he seems to be afflicted with a disease commonly known as foot in mouth disease.
I am certain of it.

Trust me, I’m a medical student.
I know these things like the back of my hand.
(If you can’t trust a future doctor, who can you trust!)

But now come to think of it, I wonder why I didn’t get his number.
I mean, other than the affliction that the poor guy has (which is not his fault at all), I’ll bet he has a perfectly awesome personality that would capture the heart of any unsuspecting, gullible female.
In fact, if I ever meet him again, I’d totally give him all the attention he deserves. Really

If you were DNA, I wish I were helicase so I could unzip your genes

haha geddit?
gosh I found so many cute jokes/one-liners online.
they're so so so so ki-utttt

Okay, lemme tell you some of my favourites.

1. If you were DNA, I wish I were helicase (an enzyme) so I could unzip your genes
2. Baby, I wish I was your derivative to I could lie tangent to your curves
3. What did boy octopus say to girl octopus?
Can I hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand?
4. Why don't you undress in front of a pokemon?
Because they'll PIKACHUUUUUUU




Longer ones...

Two snakes were slithering through a field.

One snake turned to the other and asked, "Do you suppose we are poisonous?"

"I don't know", replied the other, "Why?"

"Well", said the first, "I just bit my lip"

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came and sat down beside him.

The boy's hair was yellow and green with orange and purple streaks. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared intensely at him for several minutes.

The boy, becoming agitated with the old man's gaze, said "What's the matter, old man. Haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"

The old man answered. "Well, yes, actually I have. Once I got very drunk and had sex with a parrot. I'm just sitting here wondering if you are my son."