Thursday, June 23, 2011

hot summer.

oh save me from this sweltering heat.
everyday i wake up and am pleasantly surprised that my extremities have not melted off.
if you didn't know, I have a tag attached to my body stating "Caution: Exposure to high temperatures may lead to hands and feet melting"
so yeah, to say that I'm worried would be an understatement.

Darn all these non-green people.
Don't they know what's global warming.
Ever heard of being eco-friendly? Which stands for ecosystem by the way, not economy.

which reminds me of a funny story.
okay, it's not a story story if you know what I mean.

(just in case you don't know what i mean by story story. well, it's not an imaginary made-up fiction that I created while daydreaming. it's a true story. which is fact. and really, if you are still reading this you really should stop because I'm going off tangent so STOP for goodness sake. thank you.)

so. once upon a time, I was walking in the shopping mall.
and THEN a crowd of people gathered around a stage caught my attention.
wow. so exciting right.
a crowd of people! around a stage!
tell me what else is more exciting. it doesn't get any better than this.
okay so on the stage there were roughly 15 heavily made-up women in sparkly floor-sweeping gowns.
guess what.

Miss [insert country here] [insert relevant planet here] 2011

and basically it went like this.
"Hello my name is Geena Gim Gee Goo. I am a secretary. It is very important that we take care of our Planet. Planet Day is not just one day. In fact, everyday is Planet Day. Thank you and good day. Have a great day everyone!"

earth-shattering. oh wait, i mean planet shattering.
there wasn't any quarantine or anything of that sort so it was like the same speech regurgitated again and again.
some with better grammar. some with more hand gestures. some with strange accents (which is another story altogether)

but. all with "Thank you! Have a great day!"
I will, thanks.

By now you'd probably realize that I lied.
It's not funny at all.

But even then...
I'm just like that you know, I somehow manage to remove the funniness out of things.
A joke? Is that a type of hamburger?

anyway, no offence to Ms Geena Gim Gee Goo if she actually exists.
And also no offence to secretaries.

ooops. there goes my finger. plop!