One Night Only. & Paul Dateh.

Oh dear me, what on earth am I going to do with this pile of unfinished work?

That is the question currently plaguing my mind right now.

Among other more desirable things...like when will I be eating that durian or if I can fit in another awesome episode of Big Bang Theory which I have discovered only recently.

Anyway, back to the question.

Notice how I phrased it.

Not how am I going to finish it, but what am I going to do about it.

Which essentially means that I am still in the stage where I'm considering if it's possible to avoid it altogether.

I wonder if it would be okay to just leave the work unfinished.

Argh I wish I could just mute that annoying nasal voice in my head that keeps reminding me about how much work I haven't done.

Hasn't it discovered the power of positive reinforcement?

It is much more effective to focus on how much ice cream I managed to eat instead of how much is leftover

Wow, I can't believe I gave such an great analogy that captured the very essence of what I was trying to get across.

I do believe that its worthy of some kind of award.

Like the Nobel Prize for Analogy.

And if you're saying it doesn't exist, I say it should.

I mean, what has the world come to?!

No nobel prize for analogy? That's like saying houseflies exist!

Everyone knows houses can't fly, the most they can do is crawl.

Before I retire for the day, I would just like to say that Sheldon is awesome. I wish I can win every argument like him =)

Sheldon. Zooey Deschanel. Durian.

Wow.

I feel….what’s that emotion called?

The one which makes you laugh at something that’s not even remotely funny.

When you just randomly start humming a tune to yourself because you feel like it.

And you don’t even care that the girl over there is giving you the evil eye. In fact, you’d just beam at her and give a wave.

Oh yeah, I feel happy.

It’s so strange.

It’s not like I’ve been depressed or sad before this, but for the past few weeks I’d been in this monotonous state where everything I do and say seems obligatory and I’m just….working on auto-pilot.

I can’t stop smiling =)

It’s a good feeling. Being happy is.

"...there's plenty of other fish in the sea."

"But uh, those are guppies"

Kids - MGMT

Today was somewhat upsetting.

Hm.

But chocolate made it a teensy bit better.

Gosh, I sound like a chocaholic.

And yes, that's a real word.

Phone calls and hugs are good for health.

They're like multivitamins.

I shall prescribe it to my future patients.

....its times like these that having a boyfriend wouldn't be such a bad idea

"listen carefully..." "...I AM LISTENING CAREFULLY!"

If A is your computer and B is your chair. What is C?


One word. Concept games.
The most infuriating games ever.

My grandmother likes coffee. Does she like tea?


*************************************************************

I'm so hot, I'm running a fever.

distracted

I want to study but somehow I just don't feel the stress which I need to motivate me to study.

Which is annoying me.

Arghhhhhh.

And my roommate isn't here to make me feel guilty that I'm not studying.

I think I shall just off my computer.

Mimi agrees with me too. Such a clever girl-rabbit she is. Must be the environment.

DIE YOU INSIGNIFICANT INSECT

I am so lucky.

Guess what.
I met the most obnoxious person in the world in the swimming pool that day.
And I don’t even know what he looks like.
Only that he’s buff as hell and has an annoying American accent.

As I was grinning in delight from my extremely pleasant experience with him, ruminating on what had taken place, I came to a conclusion.

From my thorough investigations and what I gleaned from my wonderful encounter with Mr Royal Pain in the Gluteus Maximus, he seems to be afflicted with a disease commonly known as foot in mouth disease.
I am certain of it.

Trust me, I’m a medical student.
I know these things like the back of my hand.
(If you can’t trust a future doctor, who can you trust!)

But now come to think of it, I wonder why I didn’t get his number.
I mean, other than the affliction that the poor guy has (which is not his fault at all), I’ll bet he has a perfectly awesome personality that would capture the heart of any unsuspecting, gullible female.
In fact, if I ever meet him again, I’d totally give him all the attention he deserves. Really

If you were DNA, I wish I were helicase so I could unzip your genes

haha geddit?
gosh I found so many cute jokes/one-liners online.
they're so so so so ki-utttt

Okay, lemme tell you some of my favourites.

1. If you were DNA, I wish I were helicase (an enzyme) so I could unzip your genes
2. Baby, I wish I was your derivative to I could lie tangent to your curves
3. What did boy octopus say to girl octopus?
Can I hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand?
4. Why don't you undress in front of a pokemon?
Because they'll PIKACHUUUUUUU




Longer ones...

Two snakes were slithering through a field.

One snake turned to the other and asked, "Do you suppose we are poisonous?"

"I don't know", replied the other, "Why?"

"Well", said the first, "I just bit my lip"

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came and sat down beside him.

The boy's hair was yellow and green with orange and purple streaks. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared intensely at him for several minutes.

The boy, becoming agitated with the old man's gaze, said "What's the matter, old man. Haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"

The old man answered. "Well, yes, actually I have. Once I got very drunk and had sex with a parrot. I'm just sitting here wondering if you are my son."